Oh the Scottish pubs they're gonna be just like England 
They're lettin' us drink up an hour late 
But that won't affect the crowd that drink in my pub 
'Cause they're all steamin' drunk at half past eight 

Oh yes it's closin' time again you'll have to leave us 
You've got that far away look in your eyes 
We've got to hose the lobby down and count the tumblers 
And wipe the stewer from off tomorrow's pies 

You should see the way they come in here at openin' 
It's a wonder they're allowed out on their own 
Stone cold sober they come in like Mickey Rooney 
Three pints later they barge out like big John Wayne 

Oh yes it's closin' time again you'll have to leave us 
For you've got that far away look in your eyes 
Oh yes we've got to hose the lobby down and count the tumblers 
And wipe the stewer from off tomorrow's pies 

Oh there's gonna be big changes made in this pub 
There'll be topless lassies servin' up your beer 
Well I told the boss that's sex descrimination 
I've been wearin' topless trousers here for years 

Oh yes it's closin' time again you'll have to leave us 
Oh you've got that far away look in your eyes 
We've got to hose the lobby down and count the tumblers 
And wipe the stewer from off tomorrow's pies 
 

© Lark Music Ltd