I took you out for dinner to a fancy restaurant 
It took you half and hour to tell the waiter what you want 
And when he brought the soup you let it fall down on your knee 
And when he brought another one you spilled it over me 

You're the dogend in my beer can 
You're the stone in my left shoe 
And when I think of great disasters 
You know I always think of you 
You're the snowdrift on my motorway 
The snake in my grass 
But most of all baby you're a pain in my ass 

Oh I took you on an airplane and as we soared through the clouds 
You scared all the other passengers when you said your prayers out loud 
But the worst was still to come before we'd even touched the ground 
As a present to the pilot you passed your hat around 

You're the dogend in my beer can 
You're the stone in my left shoe 
And when I think of great disasters 
You know I always think of you 
You're the snowdrift on my motorway 
The snake in my grass 
But most of all baby you're a pain in my ass 

You were an hour late for the wedding I thought you'd left me in the lurch 
Oh you really shocked the guests there when you smoked your pipe in church 
And in the middle of the service I was stunned to say the least 
When you answered all the questions wrong and I got married to the priest 

You're the dogend in my beer can 
You're the stone in my left shoe 
And when I think of great disasters 
You know I always think of you 
You're the snowdrift on my motorway 
The snake in my grass 
But most of all baby you're a pain in my ass 
 

© Sleepy Dumpling Music Ltd