(I used to think that was a disease 
Oh I'm sorry I didn't come to school yesterday, Miss 
I was in bed with a bad attack of that Bamber Gascoigne 
I got up 5 times to the lavy, and that was my starter for 10!) 

I knew a young couple once, name was McCann 
Gave birth to a baby, a fine young man 
Then they went to get him Christened in the church 
And the priest nearly fainted when he heard the baby's name 
He said, "Wha!" 
They said, "Ghengis." 
He said, "Ah, Jesus Christ!" (They're always saying that.) 

Now life's pretty hard as an ordinary man, 
But it must get pretty hellish as Ghengis McCann. 
Just wandering through the world looking for a friend 
Luckily he found one in the end
He's a nutcase. From Aberdeen. Called Napoleon Bonacord Smith. 

Well the two got to talkin' about trouble and strife 
And how they'd been laughed at all of their lives 
Then like Napoleon and Ghengis did in days of yore 
They rode home on horseback and evened up the score 
With rifles, bayonettes, screw-tops and swear words 

So if you get yourself a baby and you're looking for a name 
Remember what I told ya' cause you might end up the same 
You might get yourself in trouble it's plain to see 
Every word's true you can count on me 
William J. Connolly the 3rd. The J's for Jemimah