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"The distilled craziness of serptitude and untolerated phallensy created by the whorephidioles of noisefullness with a wholesome, splendful tastefulness to Wedge/toast." (Sir Thomas Kitten).
So Wedge played their firstest gig, eye motherfuckers? Twas a noisefilled psender of an evening.
26th August
"It was funny. Everyone was confused and scared. They went to a gig expecting to hear music and what they got was a broken washing machine."-Joe Buckton
"Good" ? John?s Verdict.
"The Forum was built for this night... .amazing!"-Dave Grohl (ex-Nirvana drummer.)
"They were beautiful, Harmonic, splendid. I shall have them play at my personal party and we shall share my heroin."-Marti Pello (ex-Wet, Wet, Wet.)
"Have you got the cheese?"-Homer Simpson (ex Beesharpes).
"I suspect some political biographies were written by Hanz Christian-Anderrson."-John Major (ex Prime-Minister of Greatest Britain).
"Why are you waving that thing in front of my face?" Homer Simpson
After an hour and twenty-two minutes of listening to utter utter patootee on came the headliners Wedge. Looking crazed, their suited rhythm section were suitboys not of my liking...
"Are you a reporter?" Homer Simpson.
They had however a poisonous, deceitful glimmer in their shining blue eyes and this intrigued me further to concentrate on my life for the next thirty minutes.
"I didn?t like the style of this place. The smoke is bad for my throat. In Los Angeles you can hardly smoke anywhere. I stayed, though for the music was dragging me in. The first three songs they played were beautiful, beautiful melodies encased in undergarments of raw golden noise. The next section of the set displayed each members talents and the four main points which make Wedge one of the greatest avant-garde noise artists ever to have played at The Tunbridge Wells Forum."-Diana Ross (ex-Motown superstar)
"Wedge were mind-blowing. They sounded like several bad orchestras piercing the sky." Simon Breed (Simon Breed and The Birthmarks).
"What?s all these questions about Wedge?"- Homer Simpson.
Message from Paul &Tom (current Wedge superstars)
Yello, how is everybody in Wedge world. We have been busy seeking creative input from God-given stribes and have neglected ye all in a coat of phospherence. Me and my homeboy Tommy have mostly been ingesting 24 carat gold any way we can because we went a sifting this morning. Prout; is cunt. We play semi finals of Showcase at Tunbridge Wells on the 6th of December.
text: Rumblefish and Kitten.
Quotes taken from the Madup World Bumper Book of Seasonal Quotes.
