It all started when we got an invitation to the German Convention sent to us by Juergen Neuhaus (thanks again). I decided to go, so did Michal (Polish for Michael), the vicepresident of the Company Poland. And yes, we decided to bring the girls (my wife and his fiancee). As it showed up, there's no chance of sleeping in the same hotel as Fish would do - it was all booked by the organizing committee. Thus we booked in Homberger Hof, run by Mr. Richard Hernes, who, in fact is named Ryszard, which is a Polish name and the man is Polish - he was born in our country and still can perfectly speak the language.

We decided to get on a bus to Dortmund and then use German S-Bahn to reach Duisburg. Why? We needed a bus, that operates daily, or at least would leave Poznan on Thursday and come back on Sunday. There were some, but the tickets would cost DM 170 (return, one person). The one to Dortmund was two times cheaper. The company that operates the line is called Scheer. We really, sincerely, don't recommend it to anyone!!! What for, you'll learn later on.

Before we left, we decided (i.e. me and Mike, our vice the only one president) to buy some gifts for Fish, as we couldn't attend the Birthday Party and we wanted to recompense him for that. Michael came to an idea to buy him a cup (like Davis Cup, not cup of tea). I tried to persuade him to go for the biggest bottle of vodka available for sale in Poland. Yes, you've guessed. The verdict was to buy both. So there was a cup with dedication "to Fish, First Prize Winner, All Rock Musicians World Championships, Always, Everywhere" altogether with the date of presenting and our names. And there was three-litres big bottle of "Absolwent" (pronounced "ab-sole-vent") vodka. We also decided to record a bit of Przemysl gig (we had only 20 minutes of that) followed by our show which we gave in front of my wife and Mike's fiancee. Yes, that is cruel! I was trying to sing, Mike was pretending guitar playing and "Live from Lorelei" being a playback. He would laugh while watching, Mike has thought giving me no time to react.

So all was set up, when on Thursday 28th of August at 6.15 pm we were to meet at the railway station in Poznan, where the bus was to stop. We were to leave at seven o'clock. You could ask why we were so early... we did not know when the bus was to arrive, and Scheer (remember the name) doesn't book the seats. We wanted to seat at least with our dearests, as the journey were to last 11 and a half hours. We needed to be first in line. Now another question: what time did the bus actually arrive? 7.20 pm. The driver said he only the people going to Duesseldorf and Koeln could embark on. The next bus was to arrive in just a moment, and that was the one we had to catch. It arrived. There were almost no spare seats. My wife sat in the back of the bus, Mike and his companion were in the middle and I was sitting in the front. Lucky us, not all the passengers were such pricks as the asshole sitting lonely by the TV set, wearing white socks and black mocassins, not shaved, greasy hair, twenty-years-in-jail just for the face, who did not want to exchange places with me (and I was sitting by the beautiful girl - lucky her he did not want to). The other guy was very obliging and at last I could sit with Barbara.

The problems started to appear at the borders crossing, where we stood almost two hours, and that was due to the fact that there were two Lithuanian buses driving before us and Polish the men in uniforms decided to check them thoroughly. Later on the beloved Polish officer wasn't sure if my passport is actually my passport, as the picture was a bit destroyed. I had to explain that it is not my fault that Poland cannot produce anything better than a passport that gets a bit destroyed after keeping him in the pocket. So the guy asked me, if I got another document with a picture. Well, I ain't, but the US Senate pass. Thanks God, that was enough and we drove to Germany.

Lucky us, we managed to get some sleep. However we were two hours late, so we reached Dortmund at 8.30 instead of 6.30 a.m. We weren't that much worried, as there was no chance to get a hotel room that early. So a bit unconcious we walked out of the bus - the journey took 13, if not 14 hours and we went to the station to ask how to get to Duisburg. No problem, they told us, the trains leave every 15 minutes (okay, sometimes every 20 minutes), and the ticket is 29,50 German marks. But the ticket can be used by 5 people at the same time. The people and an animal Germans call "der Hund", and it's simply a dog. Moreover these 5 guys plus a dog can use any train, tram or bus within the ABC zones till the end of the day and even longer, till 3 am. It was 9.13 when we boarded on a train and left. We reached Duisburg within one hour.

Okay, we were at the railway station, but we managed to get to the hotel without much problem, and finally about 11.00 am we were in our rooms. I did not think that shower can be such a pleasure. I took some rest, that's good, but only some, that's bad. Anyway, we were hungry and headed for something to eat. How we ate! How we cried! So it goes.

So we went back to the hotel to rest a bit, and afterwards headed out to the venue, to see, how it looks and where it is. It was 20 minutes - walking time - away from the hotel, i.e. 5 bus stops. Sightseeing took us a while then we went to the center to visit Juergen in his apartment. He was away. We were tired. We left him a message and headed back to Homberger Hof. There I said it's time for some nap, so we agreed when somebody wakes up, he would wake the rest, and then we would finish consuming the litre of vodka which was not finished on a bus. I suppose that was about six o'clock.

I don't even remember who woke as the first one. My wife, most probably, that's her tendency. Anyway at 8.30 pm I phoned Mike, and he lived far away, 5 meters away, and asked him to come over so that we could consume vodka. He came. No bottle. It showed up, that somebody was sitting in front of the TV set and drank all that was left. I am not allowed to write who was that, but bet you can guess. We had to think about an alternative. Gas station was a good one. It was situated in walking distance, so we went there and bought German product familiarly called Gorbatschow. We drank it, though it was not that good and went to bed.

What a hangover we had in the morning! This vodka, it was terrible. We honestly don't recommend it to anybody. Long live Polish vodkas!!! Western imperialists push off, you spoil everything, even vodka. So about ten o'clock me and Mike went to the venue to get the passes. Nobody could help us. Juergen was away and Olaf Emailman Vosskamp did not reach Duisburg yet. I phoned the hotel to tell the girls that they don't have to wait for us. Lucky them, as that meant they could go shopping. Lucky me, I had my credit in MY pocket. We agreed to meet one another at one o'clock in the hotel. Then we left to see where is that Fish hotel. It was called Asberger Hof and was situated not really in Duisburg, but in a town called Moers, which is in fact divided from Duisburg only by its name. We were walking for 30 minutes, as we lost our way and had to stop quite often to buy soft drinks (we had hangovers, remember?)

Unfortunately nobody was there. And the managers did not speak any language but German. I don't speak German, so we came back to our hotel. On our way we were worrying that our butts are gonna be kicked or rather destroyed as we were walking on a motorway (or similar). The deal was that if cops stop us, I would be showing my US Senate ID, speaking only English so that then maybe they push off. They didn't stop us and we reached Homberger Hof just before 1 pm. Two hours later we left for the venue. We got our passes and went in. Oh yes, before that happened, Fish came in, together with Tammi and the Band. Derek seemed to be in a good mood, smiling and waving and looking so fine ...hahahaha. It started to be interesting.

We were inside. We were waiting for our time to come, so that we could present Fish with our gifts. That's because we didn't want to carry them all all the time. At last Fish appeared and started talking to some guys. Mike was high on adrenalin - from time to time he was asking me to go and get Fish. I decided to wait till he finishes his talks. He did and went in our direction. I said hello and introduced the vicepresident and asked if he got a minute, as we couldn't attend his birthday party and we would like to give him something now. No problem. I introduced my wife Barbara and Mike's girlfriend, correct, fiancee, Wioletta. And then it started. First the cup and then vodka, which Fish commented "Are you trying to kill me?".

We helped happy Fish (still I don't know whether that was because of vodka or cup) to take the stuff backstage. As we went in, we met Squeaky. Fish ordered: "cross yourself", and then showed him the bottle. The order was followed.

Now we had to wait a few hours to see the gig, but first I had to find Olaf V., for whom I brought some Marlboro cigarettes, as he asked me to via email, as they're two times cheaper in Poland. I found him and man he was happy. Oh yes, we had two bottles of Wyborowa (vodka for you dilletants) which we gave to Yatta and Juergen, for the passes.

It showed up, that we'd have to wait a few hours to see the gig. Horrible. My head was aching, I had a hangover, and the gig planned at 5 p.m. was now due at 7.30 p.m. No other choice, we had to wait. Around 5 p.m. first guests were admitted into the venue. Half an hour later Fish sang "Lucky" during the soundcheck and drove to the hotel to see his room and get some sleep, as I could suppose. Rumours are the night before was kinda hard. And what about us? Some anti-headache pill was transferred from Mario Bolt to me. It helped. Mario said it would, but Robin Boult was joking, that I would lose my brains, too. I did not. So we waited.

After 7 p.m. T42 started to play. I don't really remember their gig, as to be honest I did not listen to them. I can only tell they played Bob Geldof's song, and the chorus goes "I don't mind at all", but that was in German and the chorus went "alles Scheisse egal". Then on a little break and there was a time for Claymore's show. An interesting band it is. They play so called celtic rock, and the bandmembers are mostly German and Dutch. They gave a good gig, though the singer was awful, he should not sing! In the meantime Fish and his company arrived. They were due to start at ten. I managed to look at the set list, and that was that:

Lucky, Mr. 1470, Family Business, What Colour Is God?, Brother 52, Medley: Assassin, Credo, Tongues, Assassin, Fugazi, White Feather, Credo, Cliche, Chasing Miss Pretty, Mr. Buttons, Hotel Hobbies, Warm Wet Circles, That Time of the Night, Kayleigh, Lavender + Bitter Suite (a fragment), Heart of Lothian, Worm In A Bottle (encore 1), Internal Exile, The Company (a fragment) (encore 2)

And yes, they started playing at that time of the night. Well they were two hours late anyway. So it goes. at ten we were to start our after show party. Doesn't matter, especially that when they began with "Lucky" we knew it's gonna be fantastic. Deja vu. Fish jumping in the middle of the stage, wearing the hockey shirt. On his left Frank Usher, on his right Robin Boult. A little bit behind Steve Vantsis, Mickey Simmonds next to him, of course dressed in white. And last but not least, hidden behind the drumkit Dave S., AKA Squeaky Stewart. So they played this first song, and then the second one, just as planned. The reason for me to be surprised was that all the Germans were singing along. Okay, almost all. I am pretty sure that was because a) that was a convention and b) Shakespeare's language is much better known in Germany than in Poland.

After "Mr 1470" Fish said we had to slow down, as he is already 40 and being that old man is able to play only two rock songs per hour, the rest got to be ballads. That was a lie, but not for the moment they played "Family". Aha, at the end of the song Fish used his famous falsetto, just like in the old days. Then we had two numbers from the latest CD, i.e. "God" and "Brother". Great, but we waited for the famous intros.

No way, they played the medley known widely from the "Sunsets on Empire" tour. Everything performed wonderfully and loudly. Fish telling people what to do. And then on "Cliche". Man oh man. That is my song. I used this one and "Just Good Friends" to persuade my wife to be my girlfriend. (Okay, that is the way I picked her up). Everything professional and .. you know, no miztikes. However we waited for something extra, something special. We all saw Fish a few times. The world recordholder, Jimmy Roncolato, sadly was unable to come over, and he saw a few gigs. A hundred and a few. For me that was the gig number 14. It is difficult to surprise us.

Fish knew it, as before next song Fish told the story, read carefully:

"Playing at the conventions, I'm always afraid of it. It's always very hard. When you play a normal gig, the people always go: Oh, it's Fish. All of you have seen me already. You want something extra, something special. I always feel like it is an exam. So we are gonna play some new songs for you. And it's great because you don't know them. And to be honest, we don't know them either.
This song I would like to dedicate to Bill Clinton. He's the President of the United States, he can have any women like that and he takes one that shape (shows a big circle with his hands). He picks a woman that doesn't have dresses, he picks a woman that doesn't wash her clothes. No problem, he's the f***ing president, a lot of stress. He's not a Nixon, drinking whisky. I give this song to every guy. Because every guy, and every woman, is the same. When you see a beautiful man or a beautiful woman or perhaps both, you look. It's normal, you do not get married and suddenly it's I do only love this woman, she's the most beautiful person in the world, I live for her. People do not do that, they don't do that. It's not natural. Looking and dirty thinking is natural. And when you come back to your wife, you come back to your husband, they should feel good, because you have come back to them. Bill f***ed up, because he lied. And every guy in the audience knows the big lie, don't you? It means nothing, it wasn't really sex hahahahahaha. Remember Hugh Grant? It's sex, it's all sex. As soon as your cock comes out and it's hard, it's sex. Bill lied. Lied not to the American public, not to his wife. He lied to all of us. Because we trusted him. Because I wanted him to admit it. This one I give to Bill tonight, this is a new song, it's called "Chasing Miss Pretty"..."

"Chasing" is a nice song, a bit of rock'n'roll, a bit of boogie, but fine, could be a hit, though it cannot be considered as Fish-classic, if you know what I mean. However it's the only (maybe except for "Internal Exile") Fish's song, that can become popular on the radio. The second new number, "Mr Buttons", is half acoustic. Slow in the beginning, then faster. A good one. To tell you the truth, better on "Kettle" than live.

After these new songs Fish said: "Now I'm a new man, a new personality, totally different from the man you knew for years. I discovered gymnasiums, biking, I changed my attititude. I am living a healthy lifestyle. And if you believe this, you believe every single lie anybody tells you..." "Hotel Hobbies" surprised everybody, almost nobody expected that. I didn't expect it either as I couldn't remember the schedule I had seen before the gig. Later on the obligatory sequel "Warm Wet Circles" and "That Time...". Greatly performed, sang along with the fans. What else can be written about this music. We all know what is going on. On the balcony, from where we - tired - were admiring the gig sometimes we could not hear Fish, the people were screaming so loud "Warm! Wet! Circles!". After that Marillion stuff, everyone expected some solo songs, but Fish disappointed us.

Whether disappointed I'm not really sure, as what was played then? The biggest hit in the career of Derek William AKA "Kay", connected wiht "Lavender", and traditionally (lately) mixed up with "Bitter Suite". Well, we thought, encores. Oh no, no, no. Something special had to happen. And it did. Extra, special, bewitchering performance of "Heart of Lothian". Even I was screaming "Wide boy, wide boy, born at heart of Lothian", without being afraid of the comments, that, as I supposed, had to appear. The comments about my disability to sing. Lucky me, there weren't any. That was the end of the set. We waited for encores.

In fact, I waited for a few encores, after Fish told me, that the day before in Trier they played 2 hour and15 minutes, and didn't manage to play all that was planned. I was also wondering what song is gonna be used to introduce band members, as "Lucky" was already played. It showed up, that the first one, i.e. "Worm In a Bottle". As you might suppose, great performance, boombastic bass - that is what I like. That is my favourite "Sunsets on Empire" song. Introducing the members is another story.

Most probably that was Mickey Simmonds's initiative. There was a massive wine drinking onstage. Fish would come over to a guy with the bottle, Mickey would take a towel and protect the clothes, as that was a red piss. Everybody drank. Frank Usher, Robin Boult, Squeaky, Steve Vantsis, Fish, and in the end Mickey Simmonds, who had to finish the bottle. When he did, Fish gave him two glasses of beer that accidently were on stage, disappointed were was nothing more that he could give the keyboardman.

After this effort the Men went backstage, only to come back and sing "Internal Exile" joined with "The Company". In this last number Fish was accompanied by Juergen Neuhaus, and man that was funny as Juergen is two heads shorter. We waited for more and more and more.

There was nothing more, as the venue was booked only till midnight. We had to start moving to the party place, i.e. Asberger Hof Hotel. The Company Germany did not organize any transport, but we were assured we would drive taxis, which would be called for us -no problem. I mean, we were told there was gonna be no problem with getting one. When it came down to it, we waited, altogether with Robin, Frank, Steve, Bill McNie, Roby Gschladt amongst others other hour and a half for a cab to come. I am not a great fan of Polish taxis, as they tend to be run by cheaters, but at every pub or club there is always some cabs standing with many more willing to come over anytime. So I started to sing "Anybody Seen My Taxi?" using Rolling Stones's melody, which was understood due to circumstanced but disappointed the people as well due to the quality of performance. In the meantime Frank holding the big bottle was pouring the liquid into some girl's throat. Mickey was lying down on the groud and Bill McNie standing above was showing him what he has or what he ain't got under the kilt. So it was interesting, but it was as well late and we were mad and tired. At last our four guys managed to get a taxi. As that was a big taxi, a man from Brasil was to travel in the back with us. He wanted to go to the railway station, but when he was told the first trains leave just after 5 a.m., he drove with us to the party. We just could not leave him!! Party is a big word, and there were just few people sitting drinking beer. Everybody was al least a bit tired, that was obvious. We were told Fish was in his room as he got a little bit angry. Why? Well, I was told he arrived to the hotel and asked the manager to open the bar, as he fancy a beer. He answered that he wouldn't open the bar for one drink. So it goes. At last though they started coming downstairs. First Robin, then Steve i Frank, who when asked of the bottle, as he didn't have it, answered it was well secured upstairs. Also Fish came, so did Yatta, and so did Tammi. Olaf came over. But that did not matter, our perspective was a long, long bus trip. A short talk with Fish about a Polish convention. Goodbye to everybody and about 4 a.m. we were in our hotel. What's new, we waited only 5 minutes for the cab to arrive. Unbef***ing believeable.

We woke up at nine and ate big breakfast, as breakfast in Homberger Hof were big, not just a roll with some jam plus a juice. Rolls, as much as we wanted, juice, coffee, ham, cheese amongst others. At eleven we had to leave the hotel and head out to the railway station. From there we went to Dortmund, when we were to wait two hours for a bus to Poland.

Yes, you've guessed it. We waited two hours and a half, as the bus was late. Moreover, there were 20 spare seats and 50 people waiting. It's Scheer, remember. So it goes.

The drivers couldn't handle the stuff, moreover, from the way they were speaking I judged they're anything but wise. Such idiots don't appear to often. And the biggest fun for them was making laugh of the passengers. Maybe they thought (I doubt they are able to) they had been telling jokes, and maybe that the passengers can do nothing. Pricks. Man I was angry. At last, over an hour late and - thanks to our girls - beside one another we drove off in the direction of Poland. I will not be boring you with stories of how we, instead of supermarket (with wine) we stopped in Helmstadst by a small and expensive restaurant, 'cos the drivers get their share there, with stories of how the 10 minutes long stay 100 kilometers from Poznan became 45 minutes long, how the driver was driving over 130 kms per hour at night in the rain (to understand what's that, you gotta be familiar with Polish roads). The result was we eventually arrived safely, and at 4 am I was sleeping in my beloved bed (my favorite piece of furniture). What a great feeling. In the morning I was to come back to work. What a horrible feeling. But I am sure I don't have to tell you that.

Marek Cieslak

The Company Poland's President

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