My first thoughts on leaving the movie theaater was to call Stefan. I wanted to say I understood why he put out issue #7. I saw the movie alone, (as my girlfriend {at the time} said some of the best movies she ever saw was when she's alone) and I thought that I needed to talk to someone. I knew Stefan would of appreciated it. But I didn't. I'm sitting in a freezing cold car scribbling down this column way to slowly for my mind -- so I guess this 'll go print.
As I left the theater and smoked a cigarette, everyone filed out to their cars. An old bald man was the last to leave. I was sitting sullen, just thinking. He asked me if I was OK, I lied and said that I was fine. I half expected him to assume that I was the hateful nazi skinhead he just saw in the movie, and in some surround-sound scene give me some world altering real life lecture. But he didn't (and I am worried that the movie portrays all skins as nazis, all punks as nazis), he just swallowed my lie, and left.
But I wasn't OK. I felt like crap. I had a lump in my throat a million times bigger than the lie he had just swallowed. My lie was bigger. I'm part of what goes on in the big ol' picture screen. I've lied to myself. I live in a community where this is an issue. As I move from the early Lagwagon/Blink 182 phase towards Black Flaag and on, I can no longer turn my face from the problem I've too long ignored. I wan't here when it was blatant. I didn't go to shows in the late 70' and 80's. I don't fear a thing after shows get out. I'll bum a smoke from anyone and walk to my car, without glancing over my shoulder. I've never witnessed a single confrontation, let alone been in one. I'm in my little realm, the problem isn't visible. And if it's out of sight, it's out of my mind.
But there it was, in Dolby noise reduction, a full screen view of an inked swastika over a guy's heaart. I'm not by any means saying what is on the big screen is real, by no stretch of the imagination, but it did get me to think. I saw something that I don't stand for, something that should be fought against at all costs. And I thought it wasn't a problem. But maybe I was just looking away, turning my head. Even if it isn't a problem now, I wasn't off the hook. After WWII not a lot of nazi propaganda floated around back in the Stattes. Everyone was on their toes. But now what? I was one of the people kind of caring, but not doing anything. Sure it's eeasy to say you fight racism, but it's easier still just to wear the button. It's in. You see as many anti-swastika buttons and patches at a show as CU sweatshirts on a Sunday crowd in Boulder. How many people truly root for and know their Buffs (and I mean detailed stats and more)? How many kids at shows would not wear those messages if the nazi problems came back full fledge? Heck, how many kids would go to shows? I'm not meaning this article as a condemnatiion of all those who where thesse buttons and patches, because I do far less. I'm meaning this article to be a glimpse (for you and I) into my awakening.
As I saw a person with 'White Power' on his arm spew forth nazi propaganda, I knew it was time to face the problem, and to further prevent it. No longer would I be the person looking the other way. No. And I won't let these problems come back either.
But there is a flashback in my mind (yes, to another mass-media produced image). To a scene from E.R. where a man in critical condition come is, unconscious, with a swastika tattoo. The nurse, after a bit of delay, starts working on him after deciding not to treat a non-nazi with lesser injuries. It turns out the swastika branded man was a former nazi, who chose to use his tattoos to both remind himself of his past atrocities, and as a tool to talk to current nazi members. So what's this moral? Don't kick a person's butt for his markings, confront them for their beliefs. I hope that was blatantly obvious to everone, and I hope that I truly did not have to write that.
But I can't let this article end on the that happy high high note. Sorry guys, but this movie screwed with me too much. I saw lives get torn apart by hate. I saw Hate. Hate and some more narrow minded hate. And ther's still some of that festering and waiting to multiply in the community that I've grown to love. And if we can't stop it here, and continue to prevent it, how can we collectivly ever truly make a difference in the world outside? Sure my little voice of zero nazi tolerence might not make a big difference in the scene today. But maybe my voice will take the place of that 34 year old punk rock man who dosen't come to shows any more, and finds himself listening more and more to the radio. I refuse to simply just delay the problem until I'm (god forbid) in my late 30's and dead (to our community). I will teach any of possible future kids to speak out against it, and help others to see the transparent problems,and why you cannot hide -- why you must confront. "Oh sure Mike, easy to say...but...?" But how am I going to do this?
STEP ONE: I'm going to encourage people to go see the movie. Someone needs to steal or buy a copy and run off some bootlegs. By the time you have this in hand, it should be close to being out on video. So here goes my encouragment: GO SEE THE F@#$ING MOVIE!
STEP TWO: Jeff Demers (La Mala Manzana -- read it) and I are in the process of making a new patch desigh. I've come up with artwork and he should be running them shortly. As alays we'll need help iin distro, so step up buster. This patch is meant to make a stronger statement that those floating around now. This patch is meant to say "I have a commitment, and will stand for this forever no matter how many times you nazi fists knock me down and out." I know that anyone can send that message loud and clear without weaaring this art, but I want nazis to see this and realize it means something. Old images sometimes loose thir messges. I am in no way trying to create an elitist's exclusive club of new patch weaarers, and if this is what takes off, I'll be the first to condemn it.
