A guy walks into a pub with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a
stool and tells everyone that this is a very talented octopus who can
play any musical instrument in the world.
He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot,
and so on. So he says that he'll bet anyone £50 the octopus can play
any instrument they give it.
A bloke walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The
octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix. So the man pays his
£50.
Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet
better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his £50.
Then a Scotsman walks up with a set of bagpipes and hands them over to
the octopus, who just fumbles with them for a minute or two before
putting them down with a confused look.
"Ha!" the Scot says, "Ye canne play 'em, can ye?"
"Play it? I'm going to fuck it as soon as I figure out how to get its
pyjamas off."
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