Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. One was an
engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a
chemist, the fourth was a government worker.
To show off, the engineer called to his dog. "T-square, do your
stuff." T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen
and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog
and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the
kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4
equal piles of 3 cookies each.
Everyone agreed that was good.
But the chemist said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and
said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the
fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the
cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.
Everyone agreed that was pretty impressive.
Then the three men turned to the government worker and said, "What can
your dog do?"
The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do
your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank
the milk, had a shit on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three
dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance
report for unsafe working conditions, put in for workers compensation
and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
And they all agreed that was fucking brilliant.
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