A British Soldier, whilst on patrol in Bosnia, happens upon a young
lad kicking around a spent shell case with not inconsiderable skill.
The two end up chatting and the soldier says, "Would you like to play
football in England? A great friend of mine knows Alex Ferguson, the
man in charge of the top England team. He could help you."
The boy appears very keen and so, when the soldier returns home, he
asks his friend. Well, it turns out that Alex Ferguson is interested
and so the young lad is brought over. He starts off in the Junior
team, but is so good, he gets steadily promoted until he's on the
substitute bench for the main team at the FA Cup final. The game
reaches half-time and the score is 2-2. "All right", says Ferguson.
"Let's see what you can do". On to the pitch he goes. The lad scores
three fantastic goals and the team have a glorious victory.
Afterwards, the lad goes to a phone to call his Dad. "Dad," he says,
"we won the FA Cup final! I scored three goals!!"
His Dad is non-plussed and replies, "Don't you give me that! Back
here, we're going through Hell! Your mother went out for bread this
morning and hasn't been seen since. Your sister was raped last night
and your brother was beaten up in the street on his way back from
school!"
"But Dad," complains the youth, "you can't blame me for that!"
"Well," said his father, "you made us come to Manchester!"
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