Paddy and Murphy are homeless and don't have enough money to buy a
drop to drink.
"Murphy, Oi've got an idea!" Paddy exclaims, "Let's put together the
money we've got and buy us a hot dog."
"How's that going to get us a drink, Paddy?" Murphy asks.
"We'll buy the hot dog from the stand round the corner, throw away the
bun, I'll take the sausage and put it down my trousers, then we go to
a pub and get the drinks in."
"Are you on drugs, Paddy?"
"No, listen, we drink up fast and when the barman asks for the money,
you drop to your knees, I'll pull out the sausage, you act like you're
giving me a blow job, and then he'll throw us out for being gay."
So Murphy agrees and they buy the hot dog, then they go to the pub,
order two large scotches, and knock them back. When the barman asks
for the money, Paddy unzips his trousers and pulls out the sausage,
and Murphy drops to his knees and starts sucking on it. "Piss off out
of it! Oi'll not be having queers in my pub," the barman yells as he
jumps over the bar and kicks the two of them out.
"Paddy, you're a genius to be sure. Let's hit the next one."
So, after the eighth drink, Murphy says, "Paddy, do you not think it's
time to swap? Me knees are killing me from all this kneeling down."
"No, Oi don't think we can, Murphy. Oi lost me hot dog a while back,
after the third pub..."
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