An Irishman was out on the piss with his mates all night. When the
barman called time they managed to persuade him to have a lock-in.
Eventually it was four in the morning and he was the only one still
there, clinging onto his pint. The barman eventually persuaded him to
drink up and leave.
So he stood up, turned in the direction of the door, and fell flat on
his face. He tried one more time with the same result. So he decided
to crawl outside, get some fresh air, and hopefully that'd sober him
up enough so he could walk home.
Once outside in the car park picked himself up with the help of the
wall, started off towards the street, and fell down again. Thinking it
could an at least hour before he was sober enough he decided to crawl
the 10 minutes back to his home.
When he arrived outside his front door he tried one more time, but it
still wasn't happening. Exhausted he crawled upstairs to the bedroom,
stood up to get undressed, and fell on the bed instead, asleep as soon
as his head hit the pillow.
The next morning, he woke up with his wife standing over him shouting,
"Ye've been drinking again, 'aven't ye now? Ye useless bastard."
"What makes you say that?" he asked innocently.
"The pub rang, you've left your wheelchair there again, ye daft
eejit!"
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