STAFF MEMO
It's been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
establishment that offensive language is commonly used by our Spanish
staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our policy, is highly
unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and colleagues. Staff
will immediately adhere to the following rules:
1. Unusual and/or creative ideas are not to be referred to as "pajas
mentales", in particular when they come from your manager.
2. No salary increase shall be ever referred to as "subida de
mierda".
3. Under no circumstances should you call our elderly industrial
partners "los viejos gilipollas".
4. Words like "coño", "hostia" and other such expressions will not be
used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion.
5. You will not say "la ha cagao" when someone makes a mistake, or
"la esta cagando" if you see somebody being reprimanded, or "¡que
cagada!" when a major mistake has been made. All forms derivated
of the verb "cagar" are inappropiate in our environment.
6. No project manager, section head, or administrator, under any
circumstances, will be referred to "el hijo de la gran puta", "el
muy cabron", or even "el comemierda".
7. Lack of determination will not be referred to as "falta de huevos"
or "de maricona" nor will persons who lack initiative be referred
to as "capullo" or "acojonado".
8. You will not say "como me jode" if a person is persistent or "esta
jodido" if a colleague is going through a difficult situation.
Furthermore, if matters became complicated, the words "¡que
jodienda!" must not be used.
9. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "vete a
tomar por culo" nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?'
with "¿Qué coño quieres ahora?".
10. IF things get tough, an acceptable expression such as "We are
going through a difficult time" should be used, rather than "esto
esta jodido". Additionally if you make a mistake, just say so and
do not say "que putada" or any other expressions composed from the
root "puta".
11. Last, but not least, after reading this note please do not say "me
voy a limpiar el culo con ella". Just keep it clean and dispose of
it properly.
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