Ethel is a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loves to charge around
the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to the
maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman is a few
sandwiches short of a picnic the other residents tolerate her and some
actually join in.
One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and a
man stepped out with his arm out stretched. "STOP!" he said in a firm
voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in
her handbag on her lap and pulled out a Kit-Kat wrapper which she held
up to him. "Okay," he said and she went on her way.
Taking the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, another man stepped
out in front of her and shouted "Stop! Have you got a valid tax disc
from your vehicle madam?" Ethel dug into her handbag again and pulled
out a beer-mat which she held up to him and he allowed her to carry
on.
Going down the final corridor before the front door, a third man
stepped out in front of her. This one was stark naked and was holding
a sizeable erection in his hand.
"Oh no," said Ethel, "not the breathalyser again!"
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