The Weight Loss Plan
Did you hear about the fat man who had tried almost every diet in the
world in an attempt to lose weight? Absolutely nothing worked, and he
was resigned to being fat for the rest of his life.
Then one day, while was reading the paper when he noticed a small ad
that read: "Lose weight, Only £1 a pound, Call 0181 912 0238."
The man decided to give it a try and called the number. A voice on the
other end asked, "How much weight do you want to lose?" to which the
man responded, "Ten pounds."
The voice replied, "Very well, give me your credit card number and
we'll have a representative over to your house in the morning."
About 9am the next morning the man gets a knock on the door. There
stood a beautiful redhead, completely naked except for a sign around
her neck stating, "If you catch me, you can have me."
Well, the hefty fellow chased her upstairs, downstairs, over sofas,
through the kitchen, all around the house. Finally, panting and
wheezing like a dog, he did catch her. When he was through enjoying
himself, she said, "Quick, go into the bathroom and weigh yourself."
He did just that and was amazed to find that he had lost ten pounds,
right to the ounce!
That evening he called the number again. The voice on the other end
asked, "How much weight do you want to lose?" to which the somewhat-
less-overweight man replied, "Twenty pounds."
"Very well," the voice on the phone told him, "Give me your credit
card number and we"ll have a representative over to your house in the
morning."
At about 8am the next morning the man receives a knock on the door.
When he opens the door he sees a beautiful blonde dressed only in
track shoes and a sign around her neck stating, "If you catch me,
you can have me."
The chase took a good while longer this time and the man nearly passed
out, but he finally did catch her. When he was through she told him,
"Quick, run into the bathroom and weigh yourself." He ran to the
bathroom and found he had lost another 20 pounds!
"This is fantastic!" he thought to himself. Later that evening he
called the number again and the voice at the other end asked, "How
much weight do you want to lose?" and the man replied, "Fifty pounds!"
"Fifty pounds?" the voice asked, "That's an awful lot of weight to
lose at one time." The man replied, "Listen mate, here's my credit
card number, you just have your representative over here in the
morning!" and put down the phone.
About 6am the next morning the man gets out of bed, splashes on some
cologne and gets all ready for the next representative. At about 7am
he gets a knock on the door. When he opens the door, he sees this
large gorilla with a sign around his neck stating,
"IF I CATCH YOU, I'M GOING TO SCREW YOU."
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