Q. Why was the leper caught speeding?
A. Because he couldn't take his foot off the accelerator.
Q. How do you make a dog drink?
A. Stick it in a blender.
Q. What sits in a corner and shrinks?
A. A baby licking a cheese grater.
Q. How can you tell if a Valentine card is from a leper?
A. The tongue's still in the envelope.
Q. What's blue and doesn't fit?
A. A dead epileptic.
Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A. Wiped his arse.
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