Crap Jokes: Stupid: Revolutionary New Alarm Clock


REVOLUTIONARY NEW ALARM CLOCK FOR THE DEAF USES NO HAMMERS

METUCHEN, NJ--America's hearing-impaired are hailing Monday's
unveiling of the "Sentinel 450," a breakthrough alarm clock that
awakens deaf sleepers without the use of hammers. The alarm clock,
developed by Metuchen-based Integrated Products, uses a flashing
strobe light to wake hearing-impaired sleepers, rendering obsolete
previous models utilizing a mechanical arm to pound the sleeper's
cranium with a ball-peen hammer. "Rise and shine in an delightfully
new, painless way," trumpets the brochure for the Sentinel 450,
expected to hit store shelves in early January. "Now you can be on
time for work without all the debilitating concussions, cranial
fractures and costly reconstructive facial surgery."
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