The following are actual notes written to school teachers by emphatic
parents. There are no typos.
1. "My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him."
2. "Please excuse Mary for being absent.
She was sick and I had her shot."
3. "Please excuse Fred for being. It was his father's fault."
4. "Please ackuse Fred being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and
33."
5. "Mary could not come to school today because she was bothered by
very close veins."
6. "Mary was absent from school yesterday as she was having a
gangover."
7. "Please excuse Mary from Jim yesterday. She was administrating."
8. "Please excuse Fred for being absent. He had a cold and could not
breed well."
9. "Please excuse Mary. She has been sick and under the doctor."
10. "Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed
with gramps."
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