NEW YORK STATE LAWS
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically
prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a
woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude
calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-
blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences,
unless they both agree to it. That rarely happens, since one party
regularly says "no" to the other, or there wouldn't be a reason to
dissolve the marriage. If one of the spouses says "no" to the divorce,
the other party has to prove that the spouse saying "no" was at fault.
Fault could be one of four terrible things. If the spouse has
abandoned the other spouse, that is, left the house for a year or if
there hasn't been sexual relations for a year (how do you prove
that?). Another one of the four terrible things, an oft cited fault,
is to assert that the spouse has treated the other spouse with
physical or mental cruelty. This is usually the case in most
deteriorating marriages, but for the court's purposes, yelling and
screaming is not usually enough; pictures of bruises taken in the
emergency room might suffice. Divorce will be easy if the spouse has
been imprisoned for two or three years. Much more difficult is the
last fault, adultery. This keeps a lot of private detectives in
business, since lipstick on the collar is not proof. It also means
that lawyers get paid to "prove" fault, or on the other side, to show
how lame the opposing side's "fault" claim is.
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in
his/her pocket.
It's illegal to speak to a person while riding in an elevator and you
must fold your hand while looking towards the forward opening door.
Slippers are not to be worn after 10pm.
CITY LAWS
Carmel: A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that
do not match.
Greene: It is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the
sidewalks when a concert is on.
New York: Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to
the nose and wiggling the fingers."
A man may not turn around and look at a woman in "that way,"
and violators are forced to wear horse blinders.
It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body
hugging clothing."
You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a
public building.
Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being
used as a business.
Staten Island: You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in
your hand.
It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot"
or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behaviour."
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