The following are [purportedly] actual statements found on insurance
forms in which drivers attempted to summarize the details of an
accident in the fewest words possible.
Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
don't have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
intentions.
I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my
head through it.
I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve an number of times
before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law,
and headed over the embankment.
In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I
did not see the car.
I had been driving for forty years and fell asleep at the wheel and
had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place
where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in
time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the other car in front, I struck the
pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as I backed into the other vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car, and vanished.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I
discovered that I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
road when I struck him.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
I saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the
roof of my car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car
with a big mouth.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.
The telephone pole was approaching, and I attempted to swerve out of
its way when it struck the front end of my car.
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