Below are actual insurance claim form gaffes. These are mostly new and
are the collection made by Norwich Union for their annual Christmas
mag but... they've escaped.
I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I
thought.
A car drove away at speed catching our client who went up in the air
and his head went through the windscreen and then rolled off at the
traffic lights a good few feet away. The car then sped off and
miraculously our client remained conscious and managed to cross the
road.
I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I
realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a
blanket.
Q. Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A. Travelled by bus?
A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and
answers on the claim form were:
Q. What warning was given by you?
A. Horn.
Q. What warning was given by the other party?
A. Moo.
I had one eye on a parked car, another on approaching lorries, and
another on the woman behind.
I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an
elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose
concentration and hit a bollard.
On the M6 I moved from the centre lane to the fast lane but the other
car didn't give way.
On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.
Three men approached me from the minibus. I thought they were coming
to apologise. Two of the men grabbed hold of me by the arms, and the
first slapped me several times across the face. I knee'd the man in
the groin, but didn't connect properly, so I kicked him in the shin.
I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion
reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.
I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
I was on my way to see an unconscious patient who had convulsions and
was blocked by a tanker.
Mr. X is in hospital and says I can use his car and take his wife
while he is there. What shall I do about it?
No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it
happened.
I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked
her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.
Q. Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a
hazardous nature?
A. I watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran
into the rear of second car.
Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.
We had completed the turn and had just straightened the car when Miss
X put her foot down hard and headed for the ladies' loo.
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