Definitely strange, possibly true.
STRANGE BUT TRUE SEX GAMES
Upon investigating a fire in Knoxville, Tennessee firemen found in a
room plastered with heavy metal posters, the nude body of a
16-year-old boy with a cow's heart attached to his genitals. lnitial
suspicions of ritual murder were dismissed when, in a copy of the
underground porn magazine Ovid, they discovered instructions for the
construction of a sex toy made from a fresh cows heart and and an
electrical circuit powered by batteries, which makes the heart beat.
Unfortunately, the boy had plugged his stimulator into the mains,
electrocuted himself and set the house on fire.
A man of 20 reported to a casualty department complaining of pain in
his rectum. The examination revealed a hard, stony mass. According to
the man, he had been "fooling around" with his boyfriend, which
involved lying on his back with his feet against the wall, while his
boyfriend inserted a funnel in his rectum and poured a quantity of
concrete mix through it. The man underwent surgery to remove the by
now solid lump of concrete, which weighed 275 grams, and on further
examination, was also found to contain a ping-pong ball.
An hour and a half after he had told his wife he was going shooting, a
40-year-old airline pilot was found chained and crushed against the
side of his Volkswagen Beetle. The ignition was on, the steering wheel
was tied as far as it would turn to the left, and the car had been
travelling in circles. The man was naked, apart from a series of
straps similar to a parachute harness, and secured to the side of the
car by a heavy chain. It appears that he had removed his clothes and
chained himself to the back bumper of the car, which he had set on
'autopilot'. He jogged along behind it and when he wanted to stop the
'game', he went towards the car, which ran over the chain. As the
chain slowly wound around the axle it reeled the man inexorably
towards the car, and with no means of escape, he was eventually
asphyxiated against the bumper.
A man turned up at a hospital wearing an overcoat, and with blood
dripping down his leg. When he removed the coat, the doctor saw he had
a geranium inserted in his penis. The man had got the flowerin without
any difficulty, but when he tried to remove it, the hairs on the stem
of the flower had dug into the urethra and ripped it to shreds.
A 62-year-old farmer was found dead in his barn by a neighbour,
crushed beneath the hydraulic scoop of his tractor. He was wearing
stockings and a pair of shoes with an eight-inch heel and his ankles
were tied to a four-foot length of pipe, which was itself chained to
the scoop. By pulling on a pair of ropes, he could raise the scoop and
suspend himself upside-down. Beside the dead body was a broken length
of four-by-two, which was meant to act as a safety feature when the
scoop was lowered, by stopping it from hitting the ground.
Unfortunately, as the scoop came down, it had snapped the wood and
continued downwards, trapping the man beneath it and crushing him.
A policeman in Staffordshire returned home from the night shift to
find his wife preparing breakfast. For some unknown reason, he wrapped
a slice of bread around his penis, at which point the dog leapt up and
took a bite out of it. The man needed cosmetic surgery to restore the
damage.
A 34 year-old New-Yorker injected a cocaine solution into his penis to
heighten his sexual pleasure. After enjoying intercourse with his
girlfriend, however, he couldn't get rid of his erection, and after
three days he went to the doctor in search of help. Shortly
afterwards, he developed blood clots in various parts of his body,
gangrene set in and he lost both legs, nine fingers and his penis.
A number of men, generally in the 55 to 65 age group, have ended up in
hospital after attempting to make love to a vacuum cleaner, although
their explanations are rarely so straightforward. One 60-year-old man
was changing the plug of the Hoover when it "mysteriously switched
itself on" and sucked him in. A 65 year-old signalman bent down to
pick up his tools and caught his penis in a nearby vacuum, while
another was merely bending over to turn the vacuum off when the
accident happened. Bizarrely, all were in a state of almost total
undress when their accidents happened.
While enjoying an early morning swim, Brazilian Claudiomiro Marques
decided to experiment with the sexual properties of swimming pool
filters. Unfortunateiy, the structure of the filter combined with the
degree of suction, meant that his penis became jammed fast. Doctors
were called, who evantually managed to extricate him from his terrible
predicament, although not before concerned bystanders had first
contributed to the rescue procedure by attempting to demolish the wall
of the pool.
An Australian tourist woke one morning on his holiday in Thailand to
discover his passport and money had vanished during the night. He cast
his mind back, and the last thing he could remember was sucking on the
nipples of a transvestite prostitute. After going to the police and
making an embarrassing confession, the police were able to track down
the perpetrator, who explained that he had used a tranquiliser on his
nipples, a necessary subterfuge as many sex tourists didn't drink.
A Somalian trucker reported to his doctor wearing rubber incontinence
pants, and claiming that over the previous month he had been
experiencing up to 40 involuntary ejaculations daily. He believed his
condition was brought on by chewing the drug Khat. A week later, he
suffered total erection failure, and even lengthy abstinence from the
drug failed to restore his sexual ability. His doctor believed he had
used up his lifetime's supply of orgasms.
A young couple appeared in casualty one evening, he with a bleeding
and lacerated organ and she with serious bruising around the head. It
appears that during the course of providing her husband with oral sex
in the kitchen (starters?) the young lady had suffered a "grand mal"
epileptic fit, clamping her jaws closed on her husband's wedding
tackle. In great pain and fear of actually losing the aforementioned
penis, he grabbed a convenient heavy implement (a saucepan -
fortunately empty) and used it to render his wife unconscious, so that
she would release her grip.
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