"If you can piss this high, join the fire department."
- On the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 feet, O'Ryan's
Irish Pub. Ashland, Oregon.
"If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump
here. Your asshole is in Washington."
- Men's room Outback Steakhouse. Tacoma, Washington
"Beauty is only a light switch away."
- Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.
"I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards."
- Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
"If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's
all get wasted together and have the time of our lives."
- Armand's Pizza. Washington, D.C.
"If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for
ice."
- Smoky Joe's. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
"Remember, it's not, 'How high are you?' it's 'Hi, how are you?'"
- Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.
"God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?"
- The Irish Times. Washington, D.C.
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
- The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
"No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
putting up with her shit."
- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
"To do is to be. - Descartes
To be is to do. - Voltaire
Do be do be do. - Frank Sinatra"
- Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.
"At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry."
- Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
"It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere."
- Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.
"Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!"
- Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.
"God is dead. - Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. - God"
- The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C.
"If voting could really change things, it would be illegal."
- Revolution Books. New York, New York.
"A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going
to have trouble with it."
- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.
"JESUS SAVES!
But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?"
- Men's restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.
"If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!"
- Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.
"What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands."
- Men's restroom, Lynagh's. Lexington, Kentucky.
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