Crap Jokes: Truth Stranger Than Fiction: Quotes: Dan Quayle - What a Twat


Recently, Dan Quayle announced his intentions to run for President of
the U.S. in 2000. Since many younger voters may not have been watching
the news when these were said the first time, we provide you with this
list of famous Quayle quotes.

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have
 was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse
 with those people."
- J. Danforth Quayle.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
- J. Danforth Quayle.

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and
 child."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, on Republican family values.

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same
 distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures
 where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water,
 that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89.

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being
 very wasteful. How true that is."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, at a fundraising event for the United
  Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line "a mind is a
  terrible thing to waste."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean
 in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't
 live in this century."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88.

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
 democracy - but that could change."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89.

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president,
 and that one word is 'to be prepared.'"
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89.

"May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world."
- The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 11/30/88.

"I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements
 in the future."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"The future will be better tomorrow."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/21/88.

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions
 and have a tremendous impact on history."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89.

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a
 firm commitment to Europe, we are a *part* of Europe."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"Public speaking is very easy."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, to reporters in 10/88.

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going
to the polls."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots
 and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is
 to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for
 the killings? The killers are to blame."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, on the complex social issues behind the
  Los Angeles Riots.

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having
 it."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/20/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92).

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/22/90.

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/5/90.

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our
 children."
- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/18/90.

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan
 Quayle may or may not make."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on
 the mistakes we may or may not have made."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
 impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
- Vice President Dan Quayle.

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicargo"
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle.

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco
  earthquake.
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