Crap Jokes: Truth Stranger Than Fiction: Quotes: Sport Quotes


"And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a
 few weeks ago."
- David Coleman.

"Once Tony Daley opens his legs you've got a problem."
- Howard Wilkinson.

"It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs."
- David Coleman.

"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the
 race, only exactly the opposite."
- Murray Walker.

After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: "We didn't
underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought."
- Bobby Robson.

"And with an alphabetical irony, Nigeria follows New Zealand."
- David Coleman.

On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in
Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country."
- Ian Rush.

"Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to
 get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand."
- Ted Lowe.

"Ah... isn't that nice? The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing
 the cox of the Oxford crew."
- Harry Carpenter.

Jimmy Hill:     "Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you
                 think Germany has of getting through?"
Terry Venables: "I think it's 50-50."

"Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds - totally against the run of
 play."
- Peter Lorenzo.

"We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they
 equalised."
- Ian McNail.

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a
 lifetime for that prat."
- Ron Atkinson.

"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than
 lost."
- Frank Bruno.

"Henry Horton's got a funny stance. It looks as if he's shitting on a
 sooting stick."
- Brian Johnstone.

"There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes."
- David Coleman.

"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people."
- David Coleman.

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which
 is identical."
- Murray Walker.

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
- Stuart Pearce.

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
- Greg Norman.

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them
 serious."
- Alan Minter.

"Watch the time - it gives you an indication of how fast they're
 running."
- Ron Pickering.

"Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansell. Call it 9.5 seconds in round
 numbers."
- Murray Walker.

"Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like
 Brazil than English sides like Wales."
- Ron Greenwood.

"A brain scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from a
 stress fracture of the shin."
- Jo Sheldon.

"The French are not normally a Nordic Skiing nation."
- Ron Pickering.

"That's inches away from being millimetre perfect."
- Ted Lowe.

"Bobby Gould thinks I'm trying to stab him in the back. In fact I'm
 right behind him."
- Stuart Pearson.

"I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right."
- Marlon Starling.

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same
 thing again."
- Terry Venables.

On the boat race: "I can't tell who's leading - it's either Oxford or
Cambridge."
- John Snagge.

"The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests - absolutely
 round."
- Tony Crozier.
Out a levelPrevious