JOB-SEARCH JARGON
Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or
a long time veteran looking for a change of pace, this clarification
of typical job-search jargon should help you get on your way.
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
JOIN OUR DYNAMIC TEAM:
We all go to nutty motivational courses.
MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:
We have no time to train you and you'll have to introduce yourself to
your co-workers.
SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE:
... who still live with their parents and won't mind our work
experience-level salaries.
MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:
We have no quality control.
DEGREE PREFERRED:
Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like
philosophy or English.
NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:
We've filled the job; our call for CVs is just a legal formality.
SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary;
you'll wait 30 days for your first cheque.
SELF-MOTIVATED:
Management won't answer questions.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of
the real daring guys wear earrings.
COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:
We have a lot of turnover.
SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED:
If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.
DUTIES WILL VARY:
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
CAREER-MINDED:
We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
respect.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to
do.
ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:
You whine, you're fired.
FLEXIBLE HOURS:
Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.
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