STRESS IN THE OFFICE
It has been brought to our attention that some individuals have been
using bad language during the execution of their duties. Due to
complaints from other employees who seem to be easily offended, this
type of language will no longer be tolerated.
However, we do realise the importance of staff being able to properly
express their feelings when communicating with other employees. With
this in mind, we have compiled a list of alternative phrases which
will allow those concerned to convey information effectively without
offending their co-workers.
EXISTING PHRASE REPLACEMENT PHRASE
No fucking way I'm fairly sure that's not feasible
You're fucking kidding Really?
No bastard told me I wasn't involved
I don't have the fucking time Perhaps I can work late
Who the fuck cares Are you sure that's the problem
Eat shit and die You don't say
Eat shit and die, wanker You don't say, sir
Kiss my arse So, you would like me to help
He's a fucking prick He's somewhat insensitive
She's a ball-busting bitch She's a go-getter
You have no fucking clue You could do with a little training
This place is fucked We're a little disorganized today
What sort of fuckwit are you? You're new here aren't you?
Fuck off shithead Well, there you go
You're a fucking wanker You're the boss and I respect you
You're fucking paranoid So, you're from Australia
Fuck off I'll look into it and get back to you
Fuck off dickhead I no longer require your assistance
How did you get this piece of Well done
shit working?
|
