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Prank Calls to Moe's Tavern |
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Bart with Lisa calls in... Moe: Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic here? Wait a minute... Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you! Bart with Lisa calls in... Moe: Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff! Marge picks up the extension and hears Moe: Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open! Bart with Lisa calls in... Moe: Uh, is I.P. Freely here? Hey, everybody, I.P. Freely! Wait a minute... Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half! Bart with Lisa calls in... Moe:Uh, Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap! Oh, wait a minute...Jacques Strap. It's you isn't it ya cowardly little runt? When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood! Bart with Lisa calls in... Moe: Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz! Oh, wait a minute...Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew! Bart calls in under the presumption that he's calling his parents... (in Principal Skinner's office) Moe: Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come on, one of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual! Homer: Don't look at me! Moe: Oh, no...You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off! Skinner picks up Bart's end: You'll do what, young man? Bart calls in... Moe: Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately? Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick! Bart calls in during class (this is the episode where he has ultimate power) ... Moe: Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt. Oh, wait a minute... Bart laughs; Mrs. Krabappel sees him and then laughs as well. Bart calls in... Moe: Uh, Hugh Jass? Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass! Hugh Jass takes the call. Bart calls in... Moe: Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here? Barney: You sure do! Moe: Oh...it's you, isn't it? Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains! moethreat1.wav 42.9KB Bart calls in... Moe: Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss? Barney: Maybe your standards are too high! Moe: You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt! moethreat3.wav 42.0KB Laura Powers with Bart calls in... Moe: Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tinkle? All right, everybody, put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkle! Moe is taking over as the substitute teacher for Mrs. Krabappel's class during the strike... Moe: OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here". Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita Bath? The students in the classroom laugh Moe:All right, settle down. Anita Bath here? More laughs Moe:All right, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks! Still more laughs Moe:Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it, I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that! Moe runs out of the classroom crying as Bart crosses Moe's name off of a list of what are now former substitute teachers. Mr. Burns: I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers, first name Waylan. Moe: Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name Waylan, is it? Listen to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat! moethreat2.wav 147KB Homer: Hello, I'd like to speak with a Mr. Snotball, first name Eura. Moe: Eura Snotball? Homer: What? How dare you! If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran! |
