I dream of Jeannie...
 On a Retainer
One day, a man was walking along the beach
and came across an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition,
he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared. "For
releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three wishes," said the
Genie. The man was ecstatic. "But there's a catch," the Genie continued.
"What catch?" asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously. The Genie
replied, "For each of your wishes, every lawyer in the world will receive
DOUBLE what you asked for." "Hey, I can live with that! No problem!" replied
the elated man. "What is your first wish?" asked the Genie. "Well, I've
always wanted a Ferrari!" POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
"Now, every lawyer in the world has been given TWO Ferraris," said the
Genie. "What is your next wish?" "I could really use a million dollars..."
replied the man, and POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet. "Now,
every lawyer in the world is TWO million dollars richer,"the Genie reminded
the man. "Well, that's okay, as long as I've got MY million," replied
the man. "And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie. The man thought
long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know, I've always wanted to
donate a kidney..."
Genie's Angst
A man was walking along a California
beach when he stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed
it and out popped a genie. The genie said "OK so you released me from
the lamp blah blah blah, but this is the fourth time this week and I'm
getting a little sick of these wishes, So you can forget about three.
You only get one wish." The man sat and thought about it for a while and
said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm too scared to fly and
I get very seasick. So could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can
drive over there?" The gene laughed a replied, "That's impossible. Think
of the logistics of that. How would the supports ever reach the bottom
of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete....How much steel !!!! No think
of another wish." The man agreed and tried to think of a really good wish.
He said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives have always
said I don't care and that I'm insensitive. I wish that I could understand
women. To know what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment,
To know why they are crying, To know what they want when they say "nothing"...."
The gene replies "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"
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