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Expressions for High Stress

  • You - Off my planet - Now!
  • Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
  • Well, this day was a total waste of aftershave / perfume.
  • When I am blamed I delegate
  • I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 33 years.
  • Allow me to introduce my selves.
  • …..A couple of bricks short of a house?
  • Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
  • I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
  • I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
  • I'm trying to imagine me with a personality.
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realise you weren't asleep
  • I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
  • I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
  • You say I'm a b***** like it's a bad thing.
  • Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
  • Nice expression. Must you marinate in it?
  • Earth is full. Go home.
  • What damage can we do today?
  • Is it time for your medication or mine?
  • How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  • I'm not tense, just very, very alert.
  • I’m not confused!
  • Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...
  • I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
  • How about never? Is never good for you?
  • I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  • I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  • I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  • I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
  • I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
  • It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
  • I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
  • I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  • You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  • I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
  • I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  • I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  • Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  • The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
  • Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  • What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
  • I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
  • It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  • Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  • And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be...?
  • Do I look like a people person?
  • This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
  • I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  • A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
  • Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
  • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  • How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  • I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
  • Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
  • No, my powers can only be used for good.
  • You sound reasonable.....time to up my medication.
  • Who me? I just wander from room to room.
  • My toys, my toys! I can't work without my toys.
  • Well, aren't we just a ray of freakin' sunshine?
  • I pretend to work - they pretend to pay me.
  • Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control.
  • I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
  • Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
  • How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
  • Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
  • When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.

    And my motto...

  • Chaos, panic, and disorder--my work here is done.

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