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TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :
1. You can have a woman
president without electing her
2. You can spell colour
wrong and get away with it
3. You can call Budweiser
beer
4. You can be a crook
and still be president
5. If you've got enough
money you can get elected to do
anything
6. If you can breathe
you can get a gun
7. You get to be really
obese
8. You can play golf
in the most hideous clothes ever made
and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone
you've never met "buddy"
10. You can think you're
the greatest nation on earth.
10a. When you're not.
10b. At all.
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN:
1. You get to pay the
highest taxes in the world
2. You can kill baby
seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer
3. You live in total
freezing darkness half the year
and get 24 hour ozone-hole
radiation the other half
4. You can get capital
punishment for smoking dope
5. You can go skiing
in your knickers
6. You get to hate the
Swedes and beat the Brazilians in
football
7. You have to be a woman
to get anywhere
8. You don't need to
worry about land prices rocketing - its
fairly spacious
9. When abroad you can
impress people you meet with stories
about killing polar bears
and shagging penguins - and they
believe you
10. You can actually
get bored with blondes
11. You get to wear fantastic
sweaters
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :
1. Two World Wars and
One World Cup-doo-dah, doo-dah
2. Proper beer
3. You get to confuse
everyone with the rules of cricket
4. You get to accept
defeat graciously in major sporting
events
5. Union jack underpants
6. Water shortages guaranteed
every single summer
7. You can live in the
past and imagine you are still a
world power.
8. Bathing once a week
- whether you need to or not
9. Ditto changing underwear
10. Beats being Welsh.
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH :
1. You ain't English!
2. You ain't English!
3. You ain't English!
4. You ain't English!
5. You ain't English!
6. You ain't English!
7. You ain't English!
8. You ain't English!
9. You ain't English!
10. You ain't English!
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :
1. In-depth knowledge
of bizarre pasta shapes
2. Unembarrassed to wear
fur.
3. No need to worry about
tax returns
4. Glorious military
history prior to 400 b.c.
5. Can wear sunglasses
inside
6. Political stability
7. Flexible working hours
8. Live near the Pope
9. Can spend hours braiding
girlfriend's armpit hair
10. Country run by Sicilian
murderers
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :
1. Glorious history of
killing South American tribes
2. The rest of Europe
thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
3. You get your beaches
invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits,
etc.
4. The rest of your country
is already invaded by Moroccans
5. Everybody else makes
crap paella and claims it's the real
thing
6. Honesty
7. Only sure way of bedding
a woman is to dress up in
stupid, tight clothes
and risk your life in front of bulls
8. You get to eat bulls'
testicles
9. Gibraltar
10. Supported Argentina
in Falklands War.
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :
1. Chicken Madras
2. Lamb Passanda
3. Onion Bhaji
4. Bombay Potato
5. Chicken Tikka Masala
6. Rogan Josh
7. Popadoms
8. Chicken Dopiaza
9. Meat Boona
10. Kingfisher lager
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:
1. You've got to be having
a laugh, haven't you?
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :
1. Guinness
2. 18 children because
you can't use contraceptives
3. You can get into a
fight just by marching down someone's road
4. Pubs never close
5. Can use Papal edicts
on contraception passed in second
Vatican Council of 1968
to persuade your girlfriend that you
can't have sex with a
condom on.
6. No one can ever remember
the night before
7. Kill people you don't
agree with
8. Stew
9. More Guinness
10. Eating stew and drinking
Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in
the morning after a bout
of sectarian violence.
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :
1. It beats being an
American.
2. Only country to successfully
invade the US and burn its
capital to the ground.
3. You can play ice hockey
12 months a year, outdoors.
4. Only country to successfully
invade the US and burn its
capital to the ground.
5. Where else can you
travel 1000 miles over fresh water in
a canoe?
6. A political leader
can admit to smoking pot and his/her
popularity ratings will
rise.
7. Only country to successfully
invade the US and burn its
capital to the ground.
8. Kill Grizzly bears
with huge f**koff shotguns and cover
your house in their skins
9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
10. Only country to successfully
invade the US and burn its
capital to the ground
TOP
10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:
1. Know your great-grand-dad
was a murdering bar steward that no
civilized nation on earth
wanted.
2. Fosters Lager
3. Dispossess Aborigines
who have lived in your country for
40,000 years because
you think it belongs to you.
4. Cricket captain not
afraid to cry live on TV.
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Bondi Beach.
7. Other beaches.
8. Liberated attitude
to homosexuals
9. Drinking cold lager
on the beach
10. Having a bit of a
swim and then drink some cold lager on
the beach.
