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Finding myself alone, for the first time in my life, without friends or family to call on, I turned to my scratching pad in an attempt to externalize what I was feeling at any given time. Thoughts included; ' Maybe if I never see my kids again, I can leave them this stuff and maybe they'll know a little of their Dad and my raison d'être.' ' It may be interesting to look back in future years and see what was going on and how I was feeling at given times ' and myriad other thoughts.
I have always been able to write instant verse, winning my school poetry prize and had always done birthday rhymes and such. I only had me to talk to and putting it down in black and white on the page seemed to help calm my whirring brain. At least, I could read them aloud and it seemed somehow a companion to me. Interesting thought : Are we our best companion? I certainly was, in fact I was the only companion I had at that time...
I didn't realize at the time, but, on looking back, I can see it was a journey of discovery I was embarking on, a discovery of self and the sometimes amusing, oft times annoying habits of the Upright Bipeds, the species that infect this planet
At one point the MD of the company I worked for noticed me coming into the office in a track suit and asked why. I said I was going to change into a suit. He said why here can't you do it at home? When I mentioned I was living in a car he bundled me into the office double quick! He asked why I was living in a car and I asked him where he lived! He said some posh suburb in London and I said well that's pretty boring innit! You wake up there every day! I can wake up there, or, in the country, or even near Buckingham Palace if I want!
He wasn't impressed and immediately booked me a room at a YMCA! Having been born Jewish I didn't even know whether I was allowed in the YMCA! However I did duly spend a couple of weeks in various hostels, still turning to my scratching pad, when the Muse struck!
I hit upon a thought! Like a lot of guys, we can be very reticent in approaching ladies. I'm sure psychologists and the like can give all sorts of psycho babble reasons for this, but I suppose fear of rejection is up there with the best of them. Anyhoo, while never trying this in practice, I wondered if this approach might work...
March 15 1987...11:03 pm...Some
thoughts in the coffee bar at the 'Y'
(An Ode for when I see a lady
I fancy!!! (fat chance or what?))
I think you're very pretty
so I thought I'd write this rhyme
I would have walked
right up to you, you might not think 'Sublime!'
I wouldn't try to pick you
up a lady all alone
But I don't have your
number so you see I couldn't 'phone!
If I had walked right up
to you, you might have thought it weird
'Who is this guy what's
he up to with glasses and a beard??
Believe me now believe me
not my motives are upright
I'd really like to
talk to you all day and through the night
We might have things in common
maybe not you n'er can tell
But if I walked on
up to you you might have said 'Oh Hell!'
?To Hell with you for walking
up to chat me with a line!?
On the other hand you
might have said 'Sit down' then me 'Sublime!'
Perhaps any ladies out there might like to let me know if this might have worked!
March 15 1987...11:33 pm...
Yet more thoughts at the 'Y'
I'm sitting here so all alone
no one to see no one to 'phone
I'll think I'll go
straight to my room a shower what a boon!
And then I will go straight
to bed but first I will get dry
And sleep the night
away until the morning comes on by.
LOG NOTE: My G-d! What a talent!
Hang on I've got an idea!
If you do need a poem then
I'm just the guy for you
For I can write on
anything the words just come on through
So if you need to write of
love of sadness or desire
Just tell me and I'll
write for you you see I am for hire!
Not long to write it's personal
and it will be from you
To tell of love requited
or a sadder note or two
And even if your hearts'
desire is bent upon revenge
The sword is strong
but mighty are the words writ with my pen!
March 17 1987...8:42 pm...At
the 'Y'
When you're hit by lifes'
adversities that come on strong
You must never ever
speculate the chances are you're wrong
You know all of your weaknesses
but still you seem to feel
That all your minds'
imaginings are worse than you reveal
If in doubt you need not wonder
you must make a little pact
When confronted by
adversities don't worry get the facts
?Till you check out every
opening every road and avenue
Don't go worrying 'cos
that ain't really very good for you
When you're hit by lifes adversities
until you know the score
Don't go making great
big mountains out of molehills anymore
And even if you really find
its much worse than you thought
Don't give up just
keep trying like you really know you ought
At the 'Y' I met a german
guy called Hans Von Verner, a musician, or so he said. He ended up
stealing my walkman, speakers and some tapes! But, for a while we
seemed friends and we tried working together me the lyricist and he the
melody maker. Never did get anyone to write the moosic! What
follows is some of my attempts to be a song writer. However due to
the fact that I am tone deaf and sing only in the key of Chubb Locks, nothing
so far has come of it....any muscians out there wanna collaborate?
Go to next page, do not pass Go! and mebbe collect a Number 1 !!! Chance
would be a fine thang !!!
Rant & Ramble! Publishing
Attempts! Welcome To My World - The 1st
Log Entry! Future Hits?
Tribute To The Hard Rock Cafe
Greetings From Planet Zwarg!
