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A QUICK Q&A WITH SCOTTY BUGATTI, REAL-LIFE MULLETHEAD
by Steve Martin (the Nasty Little Man, not the prematurely gray comedian)
Scotty Bugatti of Bayside, Queens is the real deal: a sell-conscious Mullet Head. Like a modern day Hester Prynne (that's the protagonist from The Scarlett Letter, tough guy), Scotty bears his stigma with heroic pride and resolve. Though beseeched for years by his brother to lose the Mullet, Scotty stands by his mane. "I like it, it's kinda crazy. "
Q - Why the bi-level? Why not just one length?
A - It's the Queens Guido cut. I'm just a robot that follows. I'm immersed in their substandard environment....Plus, it looks good for my head.
Q - Did you ever have extremely long or extremely short hair? If so, what did you like or dislike about having it all one length?
A - I had a crew cut when I was really young, but it showed too much face. I had long hair when I was in high school, but it got in my eyes.
Q - What do you say when you sit down in the barber's chair?
A - "Spiked on top, don't touch the back!"
Q - What are the advantages and disadvantages of the bi-level?
A - The advantages are that it keeps my neck warm and impresses chicks with big hair. Lemme see, disadvantages...l'm mocked by people on the cutting edge of fashion...People at work have said I look like a hoodlum.
Q - Do you happen to know any other names for the Mullet?
A - Just the Guido Cut.
Q - Do you ever yearn for long hair but settle for the short `n' long because you live at home and might upset your mother or because you might get in trouble at work?
A - No. I keep it this way because it's more manageable on top. And with work, if my hair was long and all one length, I wouldn't be taken as seriously.
additional research by Arman Majidi
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