Well, this was a trip and a half ! To start with it was my honeymoon!!

The first week was very nice and it was Murray and I having a nice time, doing our own thing. We were staying in a small resort called Portals Nous which is about 3/4 km away from Magaluf (roughly £4 in a taxi). Our hotel was very posh and defintely not where the mass of Jambos were going to be staying (which was good - honeymoon and all).

The first two nights we stayed in Portals Nous and on the third night we were bored of it so we got a taxi to Magaluf, and there we found out that a few pubs were going to be running buses to the game and getting tickets etc, they didn't seem to comprehend the numbers of Jambos that would be turning up. We found out that the tickets were meant to go on sale on the Monday before the game (ie 28th September) so we knew we'd be OK should we not get one from Tynecastle (ha, what a laugh, you could pay on the night). We never saw any Jambos that night but Murray had his Hearts 50's top on all the same, to let people know that Jambos had started to arrive.

A week before the game we decided to go and visit the stadium, what a dump. We went into a wee bar opposite it (we liked to think of it as a Spanish Diggers), and had a wee chat with the boy (well it was more like us pointing at the phrase book and him laughing when we said we'd win 5-0). We also found out that Mallorca were playing Oviedo at home that Sunday so we decided to go to that, we also made a wee trip into the club shop and bought the home and away strip.

The first time we saw other Jambos was the Saturday before the game, it was really exciting for us ! We were walking our way up the main drag on the hill, and we passed a pub were we heard the unmistakable sound of the Hearts song (it sounds really terrible when sung by loads of drunken folk when you are sober). We joined in for a few songs and people were amazed that it was out honeymoon, they all assumed Murray had bullied me into it but it was more the other way round.

Most of the Jambos were pretty out of it that night and it was a really messy affair but I knew that even more people would arrive the next night, loads of our pals were coming over.

On the Sunday we went to the Mallorca - Oviedo game, we saw a few Jambos - not many though. The game was pretty boring, Oviedo had one man up front and 10 in defence, but you could see that Mallorca's strength was their set pieces and corners. we also noticed the terrible state of the pitch and I voiced concern over the state of the goal mouths if there had to be any penalties taken (more from a goalies point of view than anything else). However, I assumed that as the pitch had obviously been in that state for a length of time, that UEFA must have OK'd it for the Hearts game. The Mallorca fans didn't really sing or anything during this game, they just kept doing that annoying clap. Found out we could get tickets really easy in Mallorca - but we already knew we had them from Tynecastle.

The next time we went into Magaluf was the next night (Monday before the game), we'd arranged to meet some of the boys in the Tartan Arms, mainly because it was the only pub we all knew. It wasn't a good pub to drink in on this trip cos 'Davie fi Glasgow' basically didn't want to know that Jambos but it was his loss. If you even looked liked singing you got emptied out, even though O'Grady's next door was bouncing. Now if it had been Sellic or the Huns .....

Anyway, we met the boys and got all their funny stories and basically went out and got really pissed. We heard their was something going on at Mano's bar and when we got their there were hundreds of Jambos all singing, dancing etc. What a sight, it was mental. Inevitably the police arrived and I think the outcome was that we could go in the pub and sing but not outside, but we left.

We went back up to the main strip and into a bar called Alex Place, we were singing and dancing there and eventually the place was heaving as more and more Jambos heard us and joined in. What a night, congas, 'tops off if you hate hibees' (no, I didn't join in tho' several people tried to get me to), etc. It was really mad. I saw all the 'things' that go on with a 'blokes' holiday. All the birds in Magaluf were loving it, all these Scots blokes in their kilts .... there were quite a few liasons going on. I'd say half the folk had come to sing and get pissed and the other half had come to get off with as many birds as humanly possible !

The next two nights were more of the same, it was absolutely amazing. The night before the game was a bit quieter (but still crazy ) mainly because I think people had burnt themselves out and were trying to keep a bit back for the game itself, I of course, got the drunkest I was the whole trip and went to Bananas disco till 7am or something. Always the same eh.

The next day I was dying, really, really hung over. I got some strange looks as I wne to t meet Murray at the pool with two scarfs in my hand. The taxi driver that took us to Palma was going at about 30000 miles and hour and it did not agree with my tummy. Then when we hit the pubs near the ground (it was 2 in the afternoon, the game kicked off at 8:45 om !!) I was in trouble as the pubs in Palma sold 'real' vodka, not the watered down crap you get in Magaluf !!! Oh dearie me. We all went for a McDonalds, the saviour of European trips, then onto the fountain near the cathedral were loads of Hearts fans were gathered.

There was loads of singing and the police turned up but they were just there to check nothing got out of hand, they didn't stop us singing or anything. We left there with a few hours still to go until kick off then went nearer the ground, the boys had a couple of expresso's on the way to try and perk them up (we were all really hung over). When we got out side the ground we just couldn't believe our eyes - there were so many Hearts fans, thousands of them, and it was so colourful - scarfs and flags every where. There seemed to be loads of guys walking about with pairs of knickers on their heads, and there was a guy carrying a lilo with a pair of knickers on it ... weird.

We were all singing and mucking about, it was the best. Quite funny when we saw a bus coming up, we all thought it was the Hearts bus and were going mad, then we realised it was a supporters bus - dohhh. One of the guys even had an emotional moment. Three thousand folk making an arse of themselves. I think the locals were amazed by the number of Jambos there, that was their first home game in Europe, and even for domestic home games they probably don't see that level of support. There were Hearts fans in people's houses taking photos and everything. I was very proud of the Jambos.

We went into the ground just after eight o'clock, and that's when we first heard all the stories about the game might get called off etc. When I heard it was all about the goals I wasn't surprised but my first words were 'They better play it or there'll be a riot .....'. We could see Jim Jeffries and Chris Robinson in the centre of the pitch arguing with some people. You could tell Jeffries was really angry and he kept shouting and pointing at people. There were also people taking photos of the ends and middle of the goal mouth. We all wanted it played coz we'd got drunk and convinced our selves we were going to win really easily.

Well, the game did kick off. There wasn't all that much of an atmosphere, the Mallorcan fans were much noisier than they had been at the Oviedo game. The Jambos were singing, but Hearts were playing so crap it was hard to keep it going, and fans were starting to moan at the team etc. The announcer kept asking the Scottish fans to 'SIT DOWN' (it was like getting a row from your teacher at school) so, of course, every one immediatley stood up (stand up if you hate hibees).

So - we got knocked out. I thought they were defintely the better team over the two legs and I didn't feel they had tried too hard. I was pleased with the result over there in that we were the first team to score against them all season, but I was still pissed off at going out of the cup.

We got talking to some Mallorca fans after the game and they were all genuinely amazed that there were so many Jambos over for the game and at how well behaved they (as in they weren't fighting and causing trouble). They were saying if Mallorca got Newcastle we were all to go down to the game and support Mallorca.

The boys stayed and had a few drinks in Palma but Murray and I went back to our resort, I couldn't be bothered drinking, I was hung over and fed up. But at long last I'd seen a goal in Europe, now I'll probably have to wait another 4 trips to see a win !

The next night in Magaluf was still quite mental but not as much as the previous nights. The Jambos were starting to go home over the next few nights. We came home onthe Sunday after the game so we missed St Johnstone at home, we were knackered when we got back but still raving all about it to anyone who would listen.

I think that Mallorca was a one off (I certainly hope it was form the honeymoon aspect !!!), I can't imagine ever getting such a good draw again, it was the perfect time of year, still hot - amazing. I'm not going to go on about the appeal and stuff - it's all done and dusted. The memories of that trip will stay with me forever (and all the birds who have wee Jambos popping out in nine months time ......).