Vely
Bad English!
These are signs in hotels and other public places in foreign
countries where they make the effort to write signs in English but their efforts
go astray.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the
hotel porter.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on
our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance,
men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each
other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests
of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used
for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the
latest Methodist.
A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has
been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
In a Rome laudry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city
tours-we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride
on your own ass?
On the tap in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from
their own skin.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranted to work
throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today-no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even foreigner
if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them
in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to
USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children
in the bar.
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed animals.If you have any suitable
food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
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