House Keeping!
The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London
hotel and one of it's guests. The hotel ended up submitting the letters to
the London Sunday Times! *******************************************************************
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since
I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little
bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower
soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
*******************************************************************
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her
day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested.
The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex
dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars
I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps
daily.
I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid
*******************************************************************
Dear Maid
I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my
note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room
this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine
cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought
my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the
shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove
them.
S. Berman
*******************************************************************
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are
instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on
the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial
in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary
soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins
and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let
me know if I can be of further assistance.
Your regular maid, Dotty *******************************************************************
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called
him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have
assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for
any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me
so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and
5PM.
Thank you.
Elaine Carmen Housekeeper
*******************************************************************
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business
at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called
Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder
if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you
assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another
3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery
of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24
little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me? S. Berman *******************************************************************
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room
and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call
extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you.
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper
*******************************************************************
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including
my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop
to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
*******************************************************************
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot
understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed
to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will
be rectified immediately.
Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder Assistant Manager
*******************************************************************
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night
and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I
want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap
in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size
Dial.
S. Berman
*******************************************************************
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you
complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally
returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are
supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets.
Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she
also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got
the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size
Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen Housekeeper
*******************************************************************
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As
of today I possess: - On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4
stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. - On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks
of 4 and 1 stack of 3. - On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet,
- 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. - Inside the
medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. - In the shower
soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. - On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere
Bouquet, slightly used. - On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks
of 3. Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are
neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than
4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not
in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more
item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in
the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
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